Dear 25 year old me,
As I write to you on my 56th birthday, I am reminded about where I was when I turned 25. When I turned 25, I had been married now for 2 ½ years and was now in my second year as an assistant state attorney. I was happy to be assigned to the consumer fraud division as a misdemeanor lawyer earning about $25,000 per year. Judy and I had just closed on our first house. It was about 1,500 square feet and cost us $81k. I hoped that we could install a pool soon (we did).
I think that my biggest goal at the time was to find a way to earn more money. I will tell you now that for most of my career, I was dissatisfied with my level of income. But, although I could not appreciate it at the time, I know now that happiness requires that you earn a base amount to live. Beyond that, you can be happy or miserable, but whether you are is not related to your income. I have known people my age who became incredibly wealthy, but with all the other problems they were saddled with, I would not trade places with them for a minute. Others have earned less and seem very content. I can tell you now that I am happy with the life I have led, so you have a lot to look forward to.
In the movie, The Graduate, there is a famous piece of wisdom shared with Dustin Hoffman at a graduation party by a well meaning adult. He turned to Hoffman and said, “one word……plastics.” I suppose today my one word would be, “Apple”. In about 10 years, there will be a computer manufacturer that will appear to be on the brink of extinction. Buy stock in the company, as much as you can possibly afford. After you have emptied your savings account, borrow money and buy more stock. If you do, you will be wealthy beyond belief and never have to work to support your family.
You may decide to disregard my advice about Apple. If you do, that is OK. As I said before, you do not need the money for happiness. You will earn enough from a stimulating and rewarding career as an attorney. You will be able to support your family and hobbies. Also, if you keep working you will earn the respect and admiration of your colleagues. That is an achievement you would miss out on if you gave up your career early for the riches of Apple. It might not be worth the cost.
The most important piece of advice I can give you is the importance of starting your own family and appreciating the one you already have. Read this part carefully since it is the most important.
1) You can’t know this now, but you only have about 9 more years before your father is gone. It will happen fast. Make sure you appreciate it and make sure he realizes how much you love him. It is impossible to describe the pain of losing a parent. Even 20 years later, I think about him every day. I wonder what he would think of my world.
2) You also can’t know this now, but you will love being a father yourself. I may be good with words, but I do not have the words to describe the love you feel for your own child. The day you have your own baby, you will be forever changed. It is easy to look at others with their crying kids and wonder why they did it. I know I felt that way at 25. But, I am so happy that I did not wait too long. If I have any regrets, it is that I did wait until I was 31 and my father never got to see my children beyond the toddler stage.
3) Small children require your youthful energy to raise them. You do not want to be an old parent. Also, remember that the longer you delay parenthood, the older you will be when your children leave the house, marry and have their children. So, start your family sooner rather than later. The children will not prevent you from realizing your other life dreams. They can be part of them. I know now of young couples who are sailing around the world with toddlers on their boats.
Finally, make sure that you invest in your personal happiness. By invest, I mean both time and money. You only have one life. Enjoy it. Take time from work and spend it with your wife and kids. You won’t regret it. Buy the Catalina 350 without hesitation. No, you really cannot afford it. We know that. But, it will give you so many hours of pleasure with family and friends and is worth the cost.
Enjoy life!
Love,
56 year old Eric Ludin
